Lgbt femme
How to navigate the femme vs masc discourse as a queer woman
When I came out at 38, I quickly tried to make up for beaten time by throwing myself into the lesbian people, from attending countless events alone to introducing my first girlfriend to my parents within four weeks of knowing her.
I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom at first. I was finally living authentically as myself. But it was also confronting, entering a world I had only known through my gay male friends before.
I turned to social media for comfort and indulged in TikTok lesbian content. I was keen to absorb as much as I could of the community that I didn’t get to engage in as a teen. Terms like femme, masc and chapstick were common, and their definitions were discussed at length. I anxiously took them all in, wondering how they applied to me.
Back on the dating scene after a breakup, one of many first dates told me I was “very femme”. It surprised me as I would never possess described myself that way.
In the ‘straight world’, my style was considered tomboyish. With my signature stare of dungarees and Converse, I’d never considered myself very feminine. Even my wedding day fantasies f
Femme is a term used in LGBT+ subculture to describe someone, typically a lesbian or otherwise sapphic woman, who has a feminine gender presentation. The term can refer to any femininity, but often refers to overblown and/or outwardly atypical femininity.
Femmes will often dress in feminine clothing, and typically present themselves in a more stereotypically feminine way, such as having distant hair and wearing makeup. Femmes are also commonly thought of as having more "feminine" interests. However, femmes often subvert cultural expectations of femininity or show femininity in a uniquely lesbian way, as opposed to cishet women. Some transmasculine femmes may not take certain steps associated with transmasculine transition, such as going on testosterone. Femmes can be cisgender, transgender, or any other gender modality. Femme can also be used by non-binary individuals.
Traditionally, femmes have been expected to be attracted to butches. For some femmes, this attraction to butches represents a strong part of their own individuality. However, some femmes are attracted to other femmes. This is sometimes referred to as "fem-for-fem" or "femme-for-femme."
While the femme
Out On The Couch
By Briana Shewan, MFT
In order to prioritize femme voices, all quotes in this article are from femmes.
Positionality makes a big difference in femme identity: Please notice I am a cisgender, white, thin, millenial femme from an upper-middle class background formally trained as a psychotherapist.
Have you ever wondered if you’re femme? Have you been circling around femme identity for a while without knowing if it fits? Are you unsure if you get to call yourself femme? Maybe you’ve heard “femme” more and more and you’re curious about it?
Femme is a lovely, complex identity. What it looks like, means, and encompasses is different for each of us. I’m sure for many femmes there’s a sense of resistance at my endeavor to categorize the persona here. I don’t indicate to imply that existence femme fits into one specific box! In evidence, quite the opposite is true. Femme is all about stepping outside of traditional femininity. Spoiler! I’m getting ahead of myself.
Rather, this article is intended to broadly clarify femme identity by exploring its common themes. As the term “femme” becomes more widely known than ever before, it’s helpful to distinguish what it isn’t, and w
Queer Cultures
There are many ways to be a femme, so it&#;s leading not to confine oneself to a specific definitionbut below is an abstarct of how it was defined in the literature I read. Femme is a term used in LGBT culture to characterize someone who expresses themselves in a typically feminine way. With that said, femme differs from feminine, and the differences are key in understanding why the terminology femme is necessary. The common threads amongst all femmes are their expression of femininity and their place on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Many individuals use it to embrace and redefine the stereotypes and expectations that are often placed on women.
Femme & Femininity
- Many people outside the gay community may not fully understand what femme means and how it differs from feminine, but the differences are why the terminology femme is necessary.
- Femme describes a lgbtq+ person who presents and behaves in a traditionally feminine way with the inclusion of cisgender individuals who enjoy a more passive role in intimate relationships, asexual transgender women, or non-binary individuals who identify as gay.
- The common threads amongst all femmes are their show
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